Everyone has an oddball Uncle George. He or She is the family member who claims not to be racist while spewing forth stereotypes; or has the habit of picking his teeth during thanksgiving dinner; or wears socks with sandals. Clearly not all social crimes are equal.Catholic oddballs

My Uncle George precedes the word Jew with damn. This otherwise sane and loving man has a thing about Jews. His knee jerk racism makes my skin crawl. I can look to his upbringing to excuse his behavior, but there really is no excuse. There is also no changing his mind. The one time I dared retort that Jesus was a Jew, I came very close to having to perform CPR. So, what do I do about Uncle George?
I can disassociate myself from him. Uninvite him to my house on the holidays. Pretend we are not related. The problem is that I love Uncle George. He held me when I was a baby. He played peek-a-boo. And, aside from his Jew phobia, he continues to inspire me with his kindness and goodness.
Uncle George stays in my life; while his racism is excluded from my heart.
I feel the same way about the Church. I prayerfully cannot agree with one hundred percent of the church’s positions on social issues, but I agree with about ninety percent. For me that is enough.

Do you have an oddball Uncle George?  I’d love to hear about him. (more…)


I heard another reference to “Catholic guilt” today.  I tried to smile knowingly, but I honestly do not understand the phrase.  I am Catholic;  I do not feel guilty.  My conscience will alert me when I’ve done something wrong, but that’s not the same as guilt, is it?  A conscience keeps us–humanity–from barbarity.  Sometimes it seems as though not enough people have a well developed conscience.  Pick up the newspaper.  You know what I mean.

Back to the idea of Catholic guilt.  It is not listed in Cannon Law nor in the Catechism of the Catholic Church–I checked.  So, it must not be official church teaching.  All I can surmise is that it malingers among Catholics raised in the pre-Vatican II church, especially among those who attended parochial school.

I grew up in the San Francisco Bay area and attended a distinctly post-Vatican II church.  I do not remember Latin mass, though I do recall that my older sister used to wear what looked like a doily on her head.  The doily disappeared before I was of an age to wear one and I think I felt cheated for a little while in the same way that I felt cheated that my sister had anything that I did not.  We went to public school, so there are no memories of nuns with rulers.  On Saturday mornings I had to forgo cartoons in favor of CCD (I have no idea what the initials stand for).  Lots of nice ladies and one or two nice nuns taught CCD.

istock_000003724724xsmall1Instead of guilt, I was raised on grace.  The concept of grace is an official church teaching.

Human virtues acquired by education, by deliberate acts and by a perseverance ever-renewed in repeated efforts are purified and elevated by divine grace.  With God’s help, they forge character and give facility in the practice of good.  The virtuous man is happy to practice them.  (Catechism of the Catholic Church, #1810)

Admittedly the above is rather dense.  The point is that God’s grace helps us to do good.  God does not operate through threats nor a guilty conscience.  It is grace that helps us be better people.

In the future, when I hear the phrase “Catholic guilt,” I will ask “What do you mean?”  There is just so darn much misinformation about the church today that that phrase has become pejorative.  If I am accused of any malingering Catholic-ness, let me be accused of having Catholic Grace, of that I am quite guilty.